So if you’re wondering how I managed to keep everything straight, I had developed a detailed schedule with the names of everyone and what they were supposed to be doing at what time and put this schedule in a multipage folder nicknamed “the bible”. Anytime anyone had any doubt or wanted to exercise free will I referred to the bible (or suggested they consult the version I had printed out for them).
According to the bible, my old college roommate was to start my makeup at 2pm after having finished my sister’s hair and makeup. I went into my parent’s room (whom I had kicked out due to the groom cannot see bride before wedding rule) to finally sit down and relax. It was not to be as I realized my college roommate had not even seen my sister. I went to her room to find her… asleep.
Visions of her uncombed hair at townhall danced across my mind. I woke her up. Do you want your hair and makeup done? Ok, she said and got up. I lead her to my parent’s room.
She needs to shower, my old college roommate informed me. I looked at my sister who, at this point hadn’t had a good night’s sleep for 4 days and was simply reacting to external stimuli.
But no time to worry because I myself had to shower except I didn’t have any shampoo or conditioner. I had been so pre-occupied with not forgetting anything related to the wedding that I forgot daily essentials such as basic hygiene products and cell phone chargers.
Not to worry as best old roommate ever had it covered and I got myself showered and into the chair so she could make me look my best which would apparently take 2 hours.
It was great, I was glued to the chair and couldn’t move to help someone or check on something even if I wanted to. But I could take the numerous phone calls I got from husband.
Friend: Close your eyes.
Husband: So there was a storm when I was getting ready.
Me: Uh huh.
Friend. Ok look up.
Husband: But I think it’s over.
Friend: Look at me.
Me: Uh huh.
Husband: I’m going to call the venue to get their opinion.
Me: Ok.
Friend: Look down.
15 minutes later:
[Phone rings]
Friend: No don’t move.
Me: Ok
[Phone rings]
Friend: Ok you can answer.
Me: Hello?
Husband: So I called the venue they said it’s up to us.
Me: Ok
Friend: Close your eyes.
Husband: So what should we do?
Me: Have it inside?
Friend: Don’t open your eyes!
Husband: …
Me: Sorry.
Husband: You’re apologizing does this mean you’re not sure?
Me: No, not you.
Husband: Oh.
Me: I don’t have a raincoat that goes with this dress.
Husband: I’ll call you back.
And so on and so forth. In the end he decided to risk it. But I didn’t have time to worry about it as I had to get into my dress. My mother offered to help except this was what my mother was doing and the order of her doing it:
1. Trying to iron her scarf with a hair straightener
2. Getting dressed
3. Putting on red nail polish
Number 3 rendered her absolutely useless in doing anything except trying to get out of the way of pictures the photographer was trying to take of her and apologizing for getting in his way.
At this point it’s 4:30 and we were half an hour behind schedule. Husband called to see where we were and to tell me that it was partly cloudy.
I tried to hussle everyone out of the room and downstairs, but small tasks such as opening the door proved difficult due to the fact that my movements were restricted by giant dress and opened luggage scattered across the floor. My mother was unable to open the door least she mess up her drying red nail polish. My dad neither as he is holding my 2 month old niece. Old college roommate, aka superwoman, springs into action showing me to hold my long train, opened the door, took the baby from my dad, and leads everyone downstairs.
Except for me who is left standing at t he top of the stairs in the dark, in a giant dress and ambitious shoes, train in one hand, bag with bible and wedding flip fops in the other looking down at a windy staircase.
I considered my options when husband calls to inform me it’s now cloudy. I ask if he could call his mother [the only one with a cell phone] to come and help me.
Ten minutes later and still no mother in law, I changed into wedding flip flops prematurely to try to make it down on my own when mother in law finally shows up. She helped me down and out of the hotel where I am welcomed by the sound of crying children.
No time to worry as I had to get in the car and to the venue and waiting guests.
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