all mixed up

So a Japanese teacher friend of mine was in Paris this past weekend and I was meeting him and two other friends for lunch. As I was coming out of the metro and saw him I greeted him appropriately:

"Konichiwa! Ogenki desu ka? Hisashiburi desu ne?"

Or rather that's what I meant to say. What actually came out was:

"Bonjour! Ca va? Ca fait long temps on ne s'est pas vu."

As he looked at me blankly I realized what I was doing and apologized profusely... in French. I could not for the life of me utter a word of Japanese. I felt like switching my brain was like trying to switch the language setting in Windows. Takes ages to figure it out and if you finally manage, it does funny things.

So finally I spoke in English but then felt myself going in for the bisous and realizing, no, stop! The Japanese are uncomfortable with personal contact!

But it was too late. To my surprise he took me by the shoulders and did the bisous. I was greatful. But then he did it three times and I was confused.

See if a French person or person coming from a French speaking country does the bisous I'm ready for anything because it varies quite a bit depending on where the person comes from (even in France). The amount of times you do it varies plus the starting cheek. For example Paris is two times starting with the left cheek. Rouen also does two but starts with the left cheek (this is particularly tricky for me when I give the bf's parents the bisous and could end up kissing someone on the lips).

But where does a Japanese guy get three??? I learned later at lunch that he had lived in Ethiopia for two years and there they do three.

That's what happens when you live in different countries. You end up confusing yourself and everyone around you. For example my friend Alex and I hate it when people ask us any questions related to geographical origins. Why? Because it goes something like this:

Unsuspecting question poser: So how do you guys know each other?
Alex: Japan
UQP: [to me] So you're Japanese?
Me: [dead pan expression] No.
UQP: Haha.
Me: I'm serious.
UQP: [turning away from way too serious Asian girl] So Alex what part of England are you from?
Alex: Actually I'm French.
UQP: So why do you speak English with a British accent?

And so on and so on.

Alex was at the lunch that day along with a British friend (Bears) and his Japanese wife. After the lunch it was decided that I would show Bears and his wife around Paris and we would meet up with Alex later. As we parted ways we said goodbye to Alex.

[At the same time]
Bears: See you later.
Japanese wife: Jya ne!
Me: A plus!

Alex (who speaks all three languages seamlessly) looked confused.