3Ps

So a co-worker of mine recently retired after working at the company for 36 years.  I remember when I first met him eight years ago.  He was one of three Oracle developers that they called the three Ps because their first names all started with the letter P.  They all had similar profiles: older men close to reitirement that had all worked for the company for at least twenty years.  In other words they were untouchable due to strong French labor laws.

This is actually a very important point for those who have to work with them.  Because they're untouchable you had to make do with their eccentricities.  Like for example one refuses to speak English despite the fact that the official language of my company is English.  Another comes in at eleven and then goes to lunch at noon so really if you need to get something done by him you have to wait till the afternoon.  The other one is so temperamental he once hit me on the head with a pen (true story).

It sounds incredible but it's true.  And why wouldn't it be?  One of the 3Ps started out at the company loading paper into delivery trucks at the age of 16.  So after forty plus years with the company he has to learn to speak English so he can work with the new American girl?  He's probably thinking learn French stupid American girl so you can work with me, I've been here since before you were born. 

Ah the 3Ps.  I had a hard time at first but in the end they have somehow endured themselves to me.  They're of a different era, an era where the person counts more than company policy and where being old doesn't mean being marginalized. 

safari lodge

veules les roses

all by myself

So when you're expecting a second baby, the question is what to do with your first when the big day comes.  That's why I asked my parents to come two weeks before the expected delivery date.  I thought it was enough.

It wasn't.

When I started having contractions that Friday evening two and a half weeks before the due date, they weren't that strong but they were steady at five minutes apart.  After three hours of steady contractions I started to think that maybe I should go to the hospital to get checked out.

Our Plan B in case the baby came early was for my in-laws to come in from Normandy.  It would be a two hour drive so we called them just so they wouldn't be suprised should they receive a call from us in the middle of the night.  They decided to come straight away.

Which made the fact that I wasn't in labor a bit of a shame.  Tired from their two hour drive in the middle of the night and for their two hour drive back to Normandy, my in-laws bid us farewell Saturday morning.

That evening I started to have contractions again.  Having already cried wolf the night before I went to bed only it started to get pretty painful.  The scenario of looking like an asshole if I wasn't in labor started to look better than the scenario where I had a baby crowning in bed.

In major deja-vu style, I took a taxi to the hospital only this time they confirmed that I was in labor.  Four centimeters dialated so they admitted me.  By this time it was 3am when my husband called his parents to come so he could be with me at the hospital.

Meanwhile the mid-wife asked me of I wanted an epidural.  With pleasure I said as I sat in the hospital room in pain and alone.  Sure she said, if you could just give me your blood test results.

Flash black to Friday morning when I asked husband to pick them up for me.  When I asked for them later that day he said he hadn't had time to pick them up.  Didn't seem like a big deal at the time to wait till Monday since the baby wasn't due for another two weeks and a half.

Um I don't have them I said.  To which she replied that I couldn't have the epidural without them.

Words can not describe what I was feeling at this moment in pain and alone.  See, with my first baby I toyed with the possibility of childbirth without an epdiural.  I had no such delusions with the second.  I definitely was not prepared for god knows how many hours of pain and did I mention I was alone?

The look on my face must have expressed my current state of mind because the mid-wife went to see if she could put a rush job on the blood work.  Fortunately she could and it would take forty-five minutes.  You couldn't imagine my relief.

Turns out forty-five minutes is a long time when you have contractions every five minutes and you're by yourself.  I was relieved when the anesthesiologist finally came.

After he stuck the giant needle in me he summoned the mid-wife and some other people to come and have a look while going  on and on about something in complicated medical french jargon.  All I could make out of what he was saying was "rare". Freaked out, I moved all parts of my body to make sure I wasn't paralyzed somewhere.

Everything ok I asked.  The mid-wife told reassured me it was.  Turns out it was more difficult than usual to put in the epidural but that it was fine.   Couldn't they have lead with everything is fine and then go on and on about the medical rarity and calling everyone over to look?

Anyways with the pain removed I concentrated on the status of my husband's presence at the hospital.  Husband assured me his parents were on their way.  I casually inquired from the mid-wife what time she thought they baby would come.  She estimated early morning which corresponded to the estimation of when my in-laws would get to Paris.

So the next hours consisted of me comparing the increase of my dialation to the decrease of the distance my in-laws were from Paris and doing complicated math to reassure myself I wouldn't be having this baby alone.

Fortunately husband came around 8am.  Baby came at 11:42am.  A beautiful baby boy.

12 days

Day 1: Saturday

So being woken up in the middle of the night shouldn't be surprising when you have a newborn at home.What did surprise me however was that it wasn't baby cries that woke me up but rather the sound of an alarming knock on the door.  I sent husband to investigate.  

Me: Who was it?

Husband:  The firemen.

Me:  What? What do they want?

Husband: There's smoke in the common area and they're looking for the source.  

Me: Oh.

Dad: [On his way back to bed from the bathroom]  There's no running water.

Me: Why would they turn off the water?

Husband: [Shrug]  That is weird.

It's hard to go back to sleep with your parents and children in the house after news like that and we wouldn't get any updates.  No news is good news right?

Day 2: Sunday

No apparent fire [Good news].  No water [Bad news]  Husband gets a phone call from the HOA.  

Husband: [On the phone] *Every french curse word in the book*  Ok, thanks. [Hangs up]

Me:  So?

Husband:  There was a fire in the garage. Two cars were burned.

Me: No. Which ones?

Husband: Ours and the one next to ours.

Me: You're kidding.

Husband: Nope. And the reason there's no water is there's significant damage to the water pipes. 

Me: [Thinking about all the pee and poo soaked onsies I had to wash] How long is that suppose to last?

Husband: Dunno gonna go check it out.

Husband comes back smelling like smoke and maybe a little like shit?

Husband: It's bad. Might be a while before we have water again. 

Me: What are we suppose to do? 

Husband:  There's an unaffected water source underground. They'll unlock it at noon. 

Me: Um. Do you smell like shit?

Husband: There's shit dropping down into the garage.

Due to the fact that we had the unfortunate luck to be unprepared for such an expected event on a Sunday where everything within a walking radius from us was closed, we gathered up all the water bottles we had in the apartment to get water at noon.

My husband nonetheless came back empty handed. 

Me: What happened?

Husband: Water pressure is too strong for water bottles. The guy is going to buy a funnel. Should be ok for the next organized water collection.  

Me:  When's that?

Husband: At 6:30pm

Me: [Looks at the 6 water bottles we have left for 4 adults and one child] It's going to be a long 5 hours.

That night my husband came back with about 20 bottles of water so he could finally take a bath.  To save water he would have to do it in my daughter's plastic bathtub.  

You have to be very flexible said my six foot three husband.

Day 3: Monday

The water collection times were at 9:30am and 6:30pm so that morning I went with my dad to collect water since my lucky bastard of a husband had to go to work.  

The water faucet was underground and you have to take the stairs so down we went with a shopping trolley filled with empty bottles of water. We made our way through the darkness with flashlights and through water soaked floors to get in line for water.   The people in line behind hated us and all the water bottles that we had to fill one by one.  

I bought jerry cans that later that day to avoid being "those 20 water bottle neighbors".

That evening I rushed back from picking my daughter up from day care so I could help my dad for the 6:30pm water collection least he have to go by himself and fall on the way up and hurt himself.  I ran into the president of the HOA on the elevator on the way up who informed me they had opened a pipe on the street so we could collect water whenever we wanted. 

I would have preferred he told me they were able to fix the pipes and we now had water in the apartment but at least it was something.

Day 4: Tuesday

The insurance company pays for a hotel room for us in the 9th district of Paris until Sunday.  I go to check in and check the place out in case conditions at the apartment deteriorated.  The hotel room was for 2 adults, a toddler, and baby but since my parents were with us we'd have to cram in 4 adults, a toddler, and baby. Doable but not great.  So: Big apartment no working toilet, sink, or shower or 4 adults, a hyper toddler, and crying baby in one room with working toilet, sink and shower.

I take a shower and leave. 

Day 5:  Wednesday

We hear of neighbors who's toilets overflowed.  We're told not to use the toilets.  They install porta potties in the garden area.

Day 6:  Thursday

I pack a suitcase to go on a much deserved vacation.

HA!  No I cram a suitcase full of dirty clothes so I can go do laundry at the laundromat.  

On my way back I run into the president of the HOA and casually inquire as to when we would have water again.  If all goes well Monday he tells me.   Oh and you might want to keep your eyes peeled.  The state of the garage is attracting rats.

Day 7:  Friday

We go to Normandy to celebrate my father in law's birthday which was no small task as we were car-less and had to transport 4 adults, a toddler, and a baby.  It reminded me of a riddle I once solved about getting a fox, chicken, and sack of grain across a river.

Conditions: 

1.  In-laws can come with car at 4pm

2.  Car seats 5.

3.  Train leaving after 5pm are always crowded and you usually have to stand.  

4.  Two of the four adults are old and can not stand for 2 hours.

5.  Mother does not want to be left a lone in apartment with toddler and baby and all bags required for such a trip. 

6.  Mother and baby need to stay together

7.  People who speak the same language need to stay together.

8.  Seats on bus are mandatory but bus goes only to the major city so car needed to pick up people who take bus in order to go to small town where in-laws live.

Solution:  In-laws come pick up mother, baby, and toddler in car.   Other 3 adults take the bus.  Mother in-law drops off everyone and goes to city to pick up the other 3 adults.  Everyone is exhausted.

Day 8:  Saturday 

Enjoy birthday festivities and running water.

Day 9:  Sunday

Get back to apartment.  Sees a rat in the outdoor bicycle area of apartment.  Still no running water.  Sees a note in the elevator saying to test the water Monday morning.

Day 10:  Monday

Wake up and turn on faucet.  Still no water.  Depressed.

Before going to bed turn on faucet.  Still no water. Still depressed.

Day 11:  Tuesday

Hot water restored.

Day 12:  Wednesday

Cold water restored.  First laundry, then rejoicing. 

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