So as a married woman the minute you chose a non-alcoholic beverage when there are alcoholic alternatives around people immediately assume you are pregnant. Suspicions can be calmed by then making a show of consuming alcohol not unlike how mental patients have to prove to their caretakers that they have taken their pill by lifting up their tongue.
When I did suspect I was pregnant I was back in the States for a friend's wedding with an open bar. Luckily there was non alcoholic wine available so I could sneak past the radars. Shaking off people who insisted on waiting for me at the bar for my drink proved a bit trickier.
When I got back to Paris I took a pregnancy test before getting on the plane to go to Saint Petersburg. I indeed was pregnant so it would be no caviar or vodka for me.
I figured out quickly that the best way to draw attention to myself was to refuse alcohol so it's best to accept it and then not drink it as most people don't monitor you after the intial glass pour.
Unfortunately I learned this lesson a bit late so people were already suspicious. To shake them off the scent I would make a show of accepting and then place the glass next to Husband's where he would drink both glasses.
Food is trickier still especially in France where everything is raw and unpasterized and people don't understand why all of a sudden you want your steak well done. Eating outside the home becomes a game of Microsoft Minesweeper as you surgically try to remove parts of the meal you can't eat while people look at you suspiciously.
Of course people do end up asking and I do end up lying because who the hell wants to have to announce that something went wrong if something were to go wrong (which statistically there is a pretty good chance in the first trimester). That's just awkward for everybody.
I was glad when I cleared my first trimester and refusal of alcohol or food was no longer a sketch but rather a chance to let people know the good news.
When I did suspect I was pregnant I was back in the States for a friend's wedding with an open bar. Luckily there was non alcoholic wine available so I could sneak past the radars. Shaking off people who insisted on waiting for me at the bar for my drink proved a bit trickier.
When I got back to Paris I took a pregnancy test before getting on the plane to go to Saint Petersburg. I indeed was pregnant so it would be no caviar or vodka for me.
I figured out quickly that the best way to draw attention to myself was to refuse alcohol so it's best to accept it and then not drink it as most people don't monitor you after the intial glass pour.
Unfortunately I learned this lesson a bit late so people were already suspicious. To shake them off the scent I would make a show of accepting and then place the glass next to Husband's where he would drink both glasses.
Food is trickier still especially in France where everything is raw and unpasterized and people don't understand why all of a sudden you want your steak well done. Eating outside the home becomes a game of Microsoft Minesweeper as you surgically try to remove parts of the meal you can't eat while people look at you suspiciously.
Of course people do end up asking and I do end up lying because who the hell wants to have to announce that something went wrong if something were to go wrong (which statistically there is a pretty good chance in the first trimester). That's just awkward for everybody.
I was glad when I cleared my first trimester and refusal of alcohol or food was no longer a sketch but rather a chance to let people know the good news.
