Friend: So we met the major of this town. He’s nice.
Me: What?
Friend: Yeah CJ set off the fire detector by trying to steam his suit so the major and the fireman came.
Me: Did you guys get in trouble?
Friend: No actually it was good that he came because there were no towels in the gite so we asked him for some.
Me: Oh.
Friend: Everyone owes you 4 more euros.
Me: What’s wrong with your oldest daughter?
Sister: She drank alcoholic punch.
Me: What????
Sister: We thought it was orange juice.
Me: How much did she drink?
Sister: Half a glass.
Me: Oh....
Sister: It’s fine I made her puke it out. Sorry gotta go breastfeed.
Me: [turning to friend] My 6 year old niece drank half a glass of alcoholic punch.
Friend: Does she want a cigarette?
