evil america

So having managed through Data Communications and Networking I’ve started yet another course which is Web-centric Development. My new professor is from Mexico.

He started the course talking about standards and their importance. As an example he cited a fire in Baltimore in the 1970s that could’ve been contained had the fire hydrants been compatible with the standards of hoses. Apparently the mayor of Baltimore decided to upgrade fire hydrants to a “better” system that unfortunately turned out to be incompatible with hoses of neighboring districts that were called upon to help put out the fire.

He then moved on to the next example. This time of Katrina. Apparently the United States government’s website for Katrina aid could only be used by Internet Explorer 7, preventing a substantial percentage of the victims from using the aid site.

Yes I was indeed starting to see how important standards are. I was also starting to sense a certain bias perhaps?

He began his third example. This time it was of the European Union.

Phew.

Apparently they take video streams of their important meetings and post them online using a format made available through an [wait for it] American company. He then posed the question of why the European Union would allow their video stream to only be viewed through patented technology belonging to an American company[yes he actually said “American company” and not Microsoft]. Despite being free now, what prevents Microsoft from learning about this and starting to charge for the use of their technology?

Right.

So in order to show how important standards are he decides to randomly use the examples of overzealous Americans who’s fascination with more recent technology lead to uncontrollable fire destruction, an government (that happens to be American) that only helps its citizens that are up to date on the latest web browser, and the entire content of the EU’s video streaming held hostage by a greedy company which also happens to be American and stated explicitly so.

I mean these examples do illustrate the importance of standardization. They just also happen to show that America is kind of a bumbling idiot/dick.

Just a coincidence? Je ne sais pas.

memorial de caen

D Day Beach:

Cemetary (over 10,000 Americans were killed):
the graves:

last but not least, the view of my future apartment (currently from inside the museum):

drago

So some people have asked me how a French University manages to have a master’s course taught entirely in English. It’s simple really. How does any country get things it doesn’t itself produce? It imports them of course.

Fo serious. Most of my teachers are from other countries (London, the States, India) and they come for about two weeks at a time. During those one or two weeks I am put through what is essentially a subject matter boot camp consisting of lectures, projects, and a do or die final all condensed into about two weeks what would normally span a semester (hence the slowing down of blog updates).

Currently I am in the middle of a data networking and communications boot camp. My professor has been imported from Slovenia and has the kind of accent and mannerisms that, given a different time and place, could easily be found working in a secretive nuclear power plant facility or consuming blood in his castle.

The guy is interesting for sure and knows his shit. The only problem is that he has the affliction I’ve encountered with other highly intelligent, eccentric people and that is that he doesn’t quite operate at the same level as normal people do. This wouldn’t be a problem except he is my professor and I need to understand him.

Par example, at the beginning of his lecture he used the word “frequency” in explaining something. This is normal since he’s an engineer and so is everyone else at my school (it is engineering school after all and not like Virginia Tech is an engineering school – in France grand ecoles are purely one thing or another).

So the engineering teacher is using engineering terms like “frequency” and everyone nods their head like “uh huh right, frequency” and then there’s me, who is in no way shape or form an engineer, wonders what the hell frequency is but I let it slide since nobody else seems to have a problem with the term. So he continues and uses the word “frequency” again. And again. And again. Hmmm… frequency seems rather important since it comes up quite frequently (haha).

Anywho so I raise my hand and shamefully ask the question: What is frequency? He looks at me like I’m on crack because I don’t know what that is. I tell him I don’t have an engineering background. I think this makes him feel better and he then proceeds to explain frequency for 20 minutes.

Graphs are drawn, equations are written, manipulated, and derived and at the end of it all I still have no idea what frequency is but I pretend like I do because he tried so hard to explain it to me and I just wasted 20 minutes of everyone’s time and it’s not their fault I’m too dumb to get it. Or so I thought.

Turns out the guy is an overcommunicater. I found this out because other people started asking questions as well to which they end up regretting. That’s because he throws a lot of information at you and then you have to shift through that information and ascertain the answer yourself.

I’ll use a layman example. Let’s say you ask what’s wine made of? His answer would be something like:

Well back in the early days of mankind they searched for an alternative beverage for merriment and in doing so came across what they later refer to ask the nectar of the gods. The origin of wine starts in mother earth herself as a seedling which over time with the help of a liquid essential to all life with the chemical makeup of one hydrogen atom and two oxygen atoms. This seeding grows into a vine which is of the genus Vitis. From this vine comes a fruit with an average circumference of less than one inch (this can be mathematically proven) and can be different colors depending on the species but is mainly usually red or green. This fruit is referred to as a grape in English speaking countries but is called le raisin here in France which can be confusing as the word raisin in English means a dried grape, which as we all know is different.

Did I answer your question?

If this is your first encounter with the man you will say something like so… grapes? To which he will reply:

Well, like I mentioned earlier back in the early days of mankind…

So yeah it’s best to say instead a definitive “Yes” and it is absolutely critical you follow that with nothing other than a period.

I have a two hour test in this course next Tuesday, open notes which means it will be killer. He told us to email him if we had any questions. I could only imagine what that would be like.

un petit thanksgiving

So I confess I totally forgot about Thanksgiving.

In France Thanksgiving is not celebrated so there is no commercial reminder of the holiday which is apparently how I keep track of these things.

Alas I have friends and family to remind me I am missing out on a long weekend and good eats so I decided to hold a mini Thanksgiving celebration in my room; a room that includes a kitchen that consists of two stoves (which is really more like a bunson burner) and a microwave. Despite this I presented a Thanksgiving dinner to some of my classmates.

With limitations of an inadequate kitchen and my inability to cook I utilized the two techniques I have learned from living abroad to elevate the subpar into the extraordinary.

The first is translation of words from English into another language (preferably one that is known for what you are presenting):

Boisson: bouteille de vin rouge du bas-côté dix du supermarché

Entrée: baguettes coupées en tranches avec pâté de surplus

Plat principal: le poulet rôti a préparé par le supermarché local

Plats latéraux: maïs (spécialité du chef) et purée de pommes de terre avec la sauce au jus

Dessert: préemballé tart de pomme

The second technique (from Japan) is fancy presentation:

Voila. Bon appetite.